How Different is too Different?

Sometimes it’s important to admit you’ve fucked up.

If someone is feeling something about you consistently there comes a point where you must think, are they right? If your partner is constantly telling you that you are negative, or emotionally difficult or just telling you something over and over and over again, maybe it’s time to take a step back and think, am I those things?

Recently, I had to admit I was wrong, that I had treated my partner badly on an emotional level. That I had been the catalyst for a lot of the issues in our relationship. And believe me it’s a bitter pill to swallow and it makes you question their feelings for you.

Why would you stay with me if I’m so awful? Why would you love someone like that?

The thing about my relationship now that’s so different to the any that’s preceded it, is that it is making me really look at myself and where my life is going.

My girlfriend is everything I said I wanted in a partner; outgoing, sociable and a party girl. And I fell head over heels in love with her.

We are so different, we think differently, we see the world differently and ultimately it has come to light that we want similar things in life but they are different.

We both want our partners to be our best friend. That person you can literally do anything and everything with, a partner in crime you can take over the world with. We both want to laugh, have adventures and enjoy life. But we want to do those things in different ways.

The problem is that our differences are tearing us apart and I am struggling to bring us back together. But having her in my live has made me want to face up to my demons and get help and sort it all out, so I know that she is so special and important to me.

I am very much struggling with my mental health. ‘Im having to face up to something, that I’ve been avoiding for years. I am sad, sad all the time even when I am happy. And it’s beating the shit out of my relationship. One reason for that is me being down, me emotionally manipulating my girlfriend in a series of trials and tests of her love.

I have taken the first steps in seeking the help that I need, and I want to get better for me and for us. But can two people who are so different be together? Can we make it? I feel like we have gone from being so sure of our futures together, to having the carpet pulled from under us.

I would love to hear about your stories of overcoming difficult times in your relationships. How do you find that common ground?

 

Love always,

A x

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